A letter to my husband

You may be wondering why you are reading this with a title like that. This is for anyone that thought marriage would be perfect and rainbows. It is not. It is work. Hard work. You need to still date when married. But how do you do that with children, jobs, church duties and still trying to maintain friendships with others as well? Well I do not have the answer as I am on my second marriage and my poor husband now married someone with a child. So dates are even few and far between. Time together is harder to get just the two of us. We each have big callings in the church, and I am a firefighter as well. So when the tones drop I need to leave and help my community.
However the support of one another is what pushes us through. Its those heart to hearts as we lay down for the night that rekindle the fire. It keeps the love alive.
I am blessed to have my husband in my life. So if you are reading this hope it helps add a log to the fire of our love. Sorry for the cheesy fire analogies, guess it happens with me being a firefighter. Also this Sundays lesson during Relief Society we talked about the 2018 General Conference talk by Elder Gong. Where he is invited to paint watercolor with his friend. It was a campfire scene and that talk has been on my heart.

The talk had his friend setting him up for success when it came to learning how to paint watercolor. Setting up for a successful marriage is crucial too. Realizing in our faith that we truly believe in eternal marriage is important. I often have anxiety and with me being divorced I always feel like I could be left again. So I build the wall. I put up the barricade and try to make it so it will not hurt me. However it is honestly hurting the person I love most. So I am going to the temple Friday. To pray and be better. To start listening to the spirit rather then the adversary. I need to learn to listen to the positive.
 This is why our prophet has focused on church at home so much. At least in my eyes. We are the keeper's of our homes and our hearts.So I am trying to do better. Not only for myself but to my husband who deserves the very best in the world.

Happy Halloween

I mean look at the picture below... Does it get any cuter than him?! 



I know I am totally bias. But dozens at my ward's trunk or treat even thought he stole the show. My husband and I even dressed as Jim and Pam from the Office as well to compliment my little Dwight Schrute.  It made my love of the Office even stronger. My husband appeals to my inner fan and on our first date we drove to Niagara Falls where we went on the Maid of the Mist. For those who are not die hard fans of this now completed series.. I will fill you in. Jim and Pam got married in Niagara Falls , and well everything was going wrong with their wedding day. So the couple went on the Maid of the Mist and asked the captain of the ship to marry them on the boat. 
"Jim: I bought those tickets the day I saw that YouTube video. I knew we'd need a backup plan. The boat was actually Plan C, the church was Plan B, and Plan A was marrying her a long, long time ago. Pretty much the day I met her. "

Don't mind me here just swooning over the cheesy show and love story. I hope everyone has a safe and happy Halloween. 

Carrying Hate

It has been a while since I have posted, so I thought I would catch up a little bit. My son is now 3 1/2 and is loving learning more about the world.


He loves the firehouse which is perfect because both myself and his dad(my ex husband) are firefighters in two different towns. So this kid is used to fire pagers and tones going off. He loves checking out the fire trucks and carrying hose. My chief is ready for him to join one day when he gets older and has said they will even let him run sirens. To cute right.

Recently my papa(Grandpa) turned 80 and I collected 80 cards from all over the world for him. I actually got closer to 90 or so cards but it just shows the love people have for others.


He is a very special guy and had been battling with Alzheimer's. Which for him is worse then any illness one could have as he has always been my go to for history advice or news in the world etc. Basically my google before google was a thing.

So now we will get into why I titled this post the way I had.  At my papa's surprise party we had family and friends from all over come. I even had my ex husband and his new girlfriend come. My ex Andrew and I have known one another for 10 years and well my papa still asks about him and wonders how he is. So they came as a favor for me and I know some people thought it was a little strange. But when adults can set grudges or judgements aside the outcome is incredible.



You get parents who understand that when they created that baby, their lives became about making sure that child has the best life, despite what happens to the biological parents. I am blessed to coparent with my ex so well. It is rare but should not be.
My son has such a big family that loves him and works to make sure he is happy and memories are created all around. I have a husband who gets along with my ex and they can have civil conversations that are not fake or forced. I get along with my Ex's girlfriend and when I call my ex for our son to talk to him I ask if she is there so I can say hi too. Why? Because I am an adult who can put the past behind me and know it is worth it for my son to see good parents getting along.

Heavenly Father said 'Love thy Neighbor". A friend recently shared this photo:
 And it could not be more true. Love everyone. Treat EVERYONE with respect. Let the hate in your heart go. Especially if you have been holding onto it for years. You are making yourself worse.

Remembering 9/11

So I did not want to overwhelm my poor facebook friends yesterday with my billion posts on the topic and first responders that day etc. But this is my safe place. The place where I can our my heart out and well I do not care who reads it. If you follow my posts you will see I joined my fire department recently and am in classes for more training. Well yesterday hit me harder then most years. Sure it is a tough day for me normally as I can picture exactly where I was on that day. (th grade history class. How fitting for a historical tragedy. The first attack like this on the interlocking states. ( Pearl Harbor was another huge attack but on the Island of Hawaii) This year all I could think about was the 343 firefighters who gave their all. Literally, gave their lives.


"This picture is a very symbolic one. It shows six firefighters on Ladder 118 coming over the Brooklyn Bridge for their last ride.

These men saw what was in front of them, knew what they were getting into, and they still went. They still went to try to save as many as they could.

All six gentleman on Ladder 118 died that day. This photo represents what the Fire Service is all about, the service and protection of others. .. Trial by Fire" Caption from a picture on facebook I shared. I take no credit for the exact wording. 

I aspire to be the one who runs in while others are running out of the building. 

343 Remembrance  Please feel free to learn more about these heroes with the link.

I know Heavenly Father welcomes them all with open arms.

Taken Back

Do you ever wonder why you do something? Like were you called to be a teacher? Perhaps a nurse, mechanic, accountant, or a first responder.

I have been with my local fire department now for nearly 6 months and I love it. It pushes me beyond what I know. I have been taking a class too these past few months in which I have learned building construction, knots, fire growth, and patterns, how to tell where a fire starts, community prevention programs, hose handling, ladder hoisting and SO much more. I mean this barely scratches the surface in my fire career. I am planning on going to the next class and do interior firefighting. Why am I sharing? Maybe to be more accountable. I have had some crazy comments when people find out I am a volunteer firefighter. " But you are a mom." " Wait you? Why would you risk your life?" The best ones are those in support. The ones shocked at how well my husband supports me. That he is always encouraging me to push forward and tells me he loves me as I run out the door and turn on the blue light in my car and drive to a call.

Now I want to move into why I do it. My instructor said one of his most remembered call was with the Fairport Five. If you do not know the story it is basically 5 incredible girls who just graduated high school from Fairport and were driving to a lake house to celebrate. They tried to pass a van and when getting back into the lane over corrected and hit a tractor trailer. There have been rumors of linking to texting while driving as well. While I was not there and was not at the scene of this. I knew some of the girls. One in particular, Katie was an only child. She was in my gym class when I was a senior and I remember her just lighting up the gym with her smile. She was friendly to everyone and it didn't matter what group you fell into. To have this incident have occured in the town I ended up moving too and wanting to give back in almost makes it come full circle for me.

My mom and siblings also experienced a house fire when I was in college. My poor siblings lost so much that day. Their room was right next to the bathroom where the fire had started and the damage was great. The firefighters that responded were incredible and even had my brother and sisters baby blankets cleaned professionally and saved. They still have those at 16 and 17 years of age. A piece of their childhood was saved.

I became a firefighter because I had bought my first home and wanted to set down roots. I wanted to learn the streets, and meet the people in my town. I wanted my son to see that even his 5'2 mom could pull herself up into the truck with the guys and be apart of a team. I always loved being on a team, whether it was soccer growing up of rugby. And now to be apart of a team that protects the community is pretty incredible.

The fire department has led me to meet incredible people. They also see my faith and how I stand out. I don't drink, or smoke, I don't drink coffee ( I also do not drink caffeine but that was my own choice.) And well I was told I stick out in such a positive way.  My cousin even said today that she needed prayers and even though she prayed for something she knew mine would just work because of the relationship I have with Heavenly Father. I then asked her who was cutting onions as I was suddenly crying. Hello hormones!


I need to hear these things this week. 3 years ago my first husband asked me to leave and wanted a divorce. While everything has worked out in the end. ( Meaning he is a great coparent, his new girlfriend is nice, and I married a fantastic supportive man) You never go into a marriage hoping for a divorce. Hearing the words " I don't love you anymore" are crippling. But you know what?
There is someone who will never ever say that. Even if you turn your back on him. Even when you do not believe in yourself. And that is Heavenly Father. He knows the amount of hairs on your head and knows you by name. He knows your true heart.

He has this great plan for each of us. His plan lead me to Jeffrey in Utah. His plan led me to 2 1/2 years of infertility with the gift being my son. (Yes this is a positive) He led me to the fire department and the community I live in. And he led me to write this out.
I testify that what I believe is true, and that the church I belong too (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) is true as well. The people stand out among the crowd.

I stand out among others for my faith.

Little Sponges

Hello everyone!

I have been apart of my local fire department since March now and I am in the thick of classes for my skills and knowledge. So I often spend a lot of time at the firehouse or training in the evenings. The other day when I pulled in the driveway with my 3 year old he wanted to go to the firehouse and see the trucks. I was able to even snag a picture with him in my helmet. 

I mean how cute is he?!!   He is soaking it all in. He knows his mom is a firefighter and tells his friends about it at school. Something he also shares with others is talking about Jesus and having our bread and water. (Sacrament) He was so excited to tell my papa (his great grandfather) all about it after church on Sunday. 

He is a sponge. He is learning more and more each minute. So as a parent are we teaching them in the best way we can? Are we sharing the gospel with them? Are we sharing church music and love for others with them? How about showing them what service is?

These are all some things I can work on improving as well. No one is perfect but why not make it a goal of mine and yours as well to add these into our routines. 

Heavenly Father is our first teacher. He sent his only begotten son to love us and teach us. Let us all try to learn by this example and help others.

Little town in Nevada

https://www.deseretnews.com/article/900025674/shots-fired-during-lds-sacrament-meeting-in-nevada.html

Aboe is a link to a news article. Many of you may not have known but yesterday after taking sacrament a small church in Nevada had a horrible incident occur. A man killed his home teacher and did it in front of the whole church. I truly can not imagine being at the church and seeing what happened. I pray for the family of the man killed, and the other man who was shot in the leg. ( He was visiting the church of all weekends.)  I pray for the children who witnessed this and the parents who had to protect their children. I pray for the bishop and church leaders as they have to try and go back to church next week and once again try to make the people of the church feel safe within those walls.
While I am in NY, I messaged a friend this news and we both agreed it could easily happen in our church. Our church where kids outnumber the adults as we have big families. Our ward where we feel safe and have a family like connection with one another.
Now many will argue for gun control and while there are arguments on every single side, I wish there was a way to help mental illness more. Who knows what the man who pulled the trigger was going through. Could have been mental illness or any other reason. I just wish there was more help for those who may need it.

I pray for those who have to attend church next week and try to gain the feeling of safety again.

If you are feeling those negative thoughts to yourself or others I truly urge you to reach out for help.
Love you all.

Crazy July

Ten days in and already this month is putting me through some stress. But for every stressful thing that has happened beautiful moments have popped up. And I am so grateful for those positive moments and reminders.
Not sure if I posted in here or not at all but in April we stepped up to help a friend who at the time said she needed help leaving a terrible marriage. Once being in similar situations we offered to help as much as we can. This past weekend she moved out and well the friendship is over. I know there will be lies coming out or already told and I wish to tell my side of the story. But honestly nothing will change and it is best to move on. The only thing I will add is that it is wonderful to not have cat litter dragged all over my home and to have my guest rooms clean.
Now also in July my friend had her mom and nephew come up to visit from where they live and so they invited us blueberry picking. 
I mean it may not be any cuter than my little boy saying that they were interesting and delicious.
After we enjoyed time at my friends and went swimming.

Also this month I took my little one to the Hill Cumorah for the first time. Well inside the visitors center for the first time.  He loved it and we were able to watch a special video that involved airplanes which was perfect because the day before we had just gone to a fly in breakfast with my husband and papa.



This tradition has to be one of my all time favorites. Seeing my papa remember the type of airplanes there is something special as well. He has alzheimers and his memory is something that fails him often. So having the gift of knowledge at least in this setting is incredible because it gave him the confidence he needed all day.
 Let's hope the rest of this month is just as jam packed as the start of it. As always, continue to pray and minister to those who need it.

Catching up

Hello Readers!!
My deepest apologies for not writing more recently. The little one has been in gymnastics and tried his hand at karate for a bit. The hubby has been busy with scouting and his calling in the primary. I have been busy with the Relief Society planning committee and then the fire department. Which makes this post inspired by the fire department. Monday nights we have classes to do continual learning (Drill). We teamed up with a few other departments to practice R.I.T drills. Basically it is a special team dedicated to going into a scene and rescuing a down firefighter. I am an exterior firefighter so it was not necessarily for me, but we got to be inside the practice warehouse and see the firefighters go through the steps to rescue the firefighter. The team was made up for 3-4 people and for some reason I honestly kept thinking of Heavenly Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We need all three of them on our team to help rescue us. We need to be in constant communication with them in order to get the help as well. I need to do a better job with my prayers and my own testimony these days and I know I can! You can too! That may mean more trips to the Temple. Heck even walking on temple grounds like the day in the picture below with my little boy. He loved just being on the temple grounds.
Enjoy!

Nurses Week

This post may be a little different then ones in the past. It is nurses week and I wanted to highlight them in some way. Nurses have literally been a gift from above to me personally. As many of my readers may know I lost a son at 5 months of pregnancy.
I was sent to the hospital from my gyno doctor and told to wait for him to come across the street to the hospital. I was sadly already in the delivery stages early on and waiting the doctor out was nothing something my body was going to do. It was a nurse who helped deliver my son. It was a nurse who held my hand and took care of me. The doctor did not show for hours as he actually went home for the night instead of coming over like he said. It was the nurses who made a grief box filled with poems, encouraging words and every single blanket, hat or gown that my son touched. I was given a stuffed animal they kept with him the whole time that I now cherish. They were the ones checking in on me. Not just in the hospital either. Nurse Jen called me a week later, a month later , and even 6 months later to check in on me. No one told her to. It was something she did to ensure the grieving mothers had someone there. Someone to talk too.
Nurses also informed me about this national project called Now I lay Me Down to Sleep. A photographer donates their time and skills and comes to the hospital to take family pictures of you and your angel. Looking back I am grateful for this service as they are the only moments with my first son and they were captured.

Fast forwarding to the infertility office nurses who took care of me and prayed for me along my journey. The ones who jumped for joy as I became pregnant. The ones who celebrated at the end of my healthy pregnancy with Seth. They even had a certificate ready for me after 20 weeks of shots.
Thank you to the nurse who held my shoulders as I was getting ready for my c-section, and made me feel comfortable in the most uncomfortable position as the spinal shot was inserted.
Nurses are the best. They run on short sleep and long hours. So thank you! Thank you for all you do and continue to do.

Turning 3

My son turns 3 on Friday and I could not be more excited and sad all at the same time. He is growing into his own personality and learning some of the cutest kids games. He especially loves tag and hide and go seek. Though he has not conquered the whole not telling where you are hiding part.He is polite and thoughtful and loves Jesus. He prays on his own for things and leads us in prayer. My favorite sight is seeing when I get a priesthood blessing and he may be on my lap he will try and add his hand in to the hands upon my head. He gets to see this example before him and wants in on it. I am so blessed to know the love Heavenly Father has for each and everyone of us, because I got the gift of being a mom.
 I am so lucky to have him in my life. He enjoys gymnastics, peppa pig, ice cream at our favorite place by our house, riding his bike,magnatiles and playing with his friends.
We just had General Conference for our church. It happens two times a year and it is where a variety of church leaders get up and talk to us. We recently had some big changes with how we will visit and teach our own members of the church. We are going to do more ministering like Christ himself has done. When I first thought of this change I did not like the idea. But with the focus on including the youth to see what they are doing, how can I not love the idea. I want my son to see what happens and see him grow with the Christ like love of others.

I hope you treat others like Christ treated people. I hope you learn like the way children do. They are innocent until taught to hate or taught to be ignorant.  I hope you find peace and comfort in prayer.

All things warm and sunny in AZ

So who is ready to hear all about my crazy adventures in Arizona?
Make sure you grab some popcorn and your favorite beverage and take a seat. I would chose movie popcorn and a sprite light on the ice if it were me.
You are in for a ride. I forgot to check in 24 hours ahead of time and got some of the worst boarding spots one could have. Especially since I flew Southwest and they have open seating. So one of the flights I was one of the last 5 people on and well being a bigger girl I did not want to get trapped in the middle. I wanted either the aisle or window. I went towards the back and those filled up. Turned around and those were filled as well. Quick panic and anxiety about me not having a seat the flight attendant was able to have me sit in the seat where an employee would have sat, and the employee sat with the other flight attendants.
Then after some bumpy flights I landed in warm AZ.  I mean I left a cold 32 degree day in western NY for 70 degree weather!
Then it was off to find my rental car. Sadly the car I chose the USB port didn't work and I had no idea until halfway to dinner with my friend Carson (Elder Barnes for those who have read about him before)and his fiance and parents. We ate dinner at a mexican restaurant named Gecko Grill, and boy was it wonderful. If anyone is near Mesa then I highly suggest it.
Then it was off to the grand adventure of checking into the hotel. They had called me when I landed to confirm I was still coming. Which I thought was odd as I landed around 5 pm and I did not expect a call. So first possible red flag. Then I get to the Colonade Motel and Suites in Mesa and there was some interesting groups of people all hanging out side around 9 pm and it made me nervous. Then the desk manager told me she had no room for me but would send me to another property just down the street. ugh.
Ok. I went down the street with my phone battery dying and needing to use the restroom. They too were full.So quick panic set in(yay anxiety and travelling to a whole new state alone). She then said they owned an apartment complex and they would put me in the model unit they have and I was locked in with my pricing so it was a great deal. So I drove to this bad part of town that Carson had warned be about at dinner.  I get to the apartment complex and it was getting late. They said they just cleaned the place and I was all set.
This woman lets me in and it smells like drugs and the door doesn't even lock.So I call the Colonade and let them know that this just was not ok. I in the meantime use the bathroom after traveling across the country and barely having time to use the bathroom. There was no toilet paper and no back ups. This was not going to work. 
The one woman who I share a name with, Heather, came back and she was shocked the door did not lock. She moves me to another apartment in the area and now the air conditioning does not work and I find dead bugs in the carpet. Luckily I booked with booking.com and I called their customer service. They were outstanding and fought hard to make sure I got a refund.  My friend Carson was getting the updates of this adventure with the hotel and told me to head to his parents house where I could stay and be safe. So I rolled on out of the gross apartment and literally made it to the Barnes home on 1 percent battery. Seriously Heavenly Father was looking out for me and answering my prayers.  Jayne and Paul had a set up all ready for me and invited me to a baptism the next morning for their grandson if I had wanted to go.
I woke up and wanted to go as I was not sure what else to do on a Saturday morning in a new state. Hoping to stay in my nice pretty dress for the wedding I wore it to the baptism too. I soon met all of Carson's nieces and nephews and the siblings who were all there for this sweet 8 year old boy choosing to be baptized.
Side note: I had an ear infection prior to this whole trip and was given a third set of antibiotics for this trip. Ones that seemed to be a hail Mary pass to try and see if they would work with me. Yay for an allergy to Penicillin. So this new awful medicine literally made me sick to my stomach and sadly all on my dress.  So poor me had to awkwardly hold my arms or purse over the spot on my dress as it was not washing out in the church sink. Then towards the end of the baptism a little one was playing with my dress and all of a sudden I head "911 What is your emergency?"
Panic mode. Luckily I was able to tell them it was a pocket dial and truly things were ok. Phew!! Later I went to the Gilbert Temple and was able to see my good friend Carson marry his beautiful bride Kendall. The ceremony was beautiful and I may have cried a few times. It was hard seeing Paul(Carson's dad) so happy and proud with tears in his eyes. You expect that with the mother's but to see a dad be able to express that so openly is incredible.
The pictures were fun and I can not wait to see how they all turn out. Then I scooted off to the distribution center at Desert Book Store. If  you have never been to one this is a great chance to get fitted properly for garments if you are an endowed member of the church. In Ny my closest center is actually in Canada and one needs a passport. So that is not always an option for some. So I was stoked to try on the new material of the garments and check them out.

Then after I went to Carson's sisters house and hung out with the Hawkins family. Thank goodness because Kendyl sells Lularoe and I was able to find something due to the puke fiasco earlier in the day. Man those 3 little ones I got to spend the afternoon with were just awesome.

The reception was moved indoors as there was a little rain, but it was still so incredibly stunning! I was able to see August Wood who was a missionary in Rochester as well. I was excited to catch up and see what he has been doing over the last few years.

All in all it was a fantastic time filled with seeing a great friend, chick fil A and adventure.

Baptism speech for a friend

so tonight I had the honor of speaking at a friends baptism. She married a member and took the one to see for herself if it was the right thing. She inspires me as she takes out her scriptures after dinner to study. I sadly have to admit I do not do that and need too a little more. So I wanted to share my speech Incase it helps anyone else.

Welcome everyone, and thanks again for being here tonight for Amanda’s special day. I get the honor of speaking to everyone tonight about baptism and it is something I feel very strongly about.  I love the fact that in our church we chose to be baptized and take ownership of that. I met with missionaries a little over 4 years ago and was baptized myself. Everything I heard and prayed about for me was true. I know for me the missionaries were a huge part of my understanding as for me they were some of my first friends in church. You are lucky to have the Steele family to get extra knowledge and help with questions. So don’t google things like I did. Do Mormons give up things for lent? Do Mormons listen to rock music? Do Mormons go tanning?  My search history when first converting was all sorts of weird things. I have to say we don’t have any really crazy rules or guidelines that others could not understand. Except for maybe no coffee. People often wonder why I am so happy in the mornings but it is just because I am a happy person and have the gospel in my life. 

So for this speech I turned to some of my original missionary friends and their thoughts on baptism as well. My friend Pedro said “ baptism is a commitment to change, not a change itself.  And it entitles you to the Lord’s assistance. It is a stepping stone and a new beginning and I am so happy for you.

My other missionary friend Anthony and his wife shared “ the little things are big things. Things that you feel are just routine and not that significant like going to church every Sunday, reading your scriptures, saying your prayers, attending the temple when you can. Those are the things that continuously keep us close with Christ. If we stop doing those things we can become spiritual starved and adrift from Christ. Just like we need to eat everyday we also need to be spiritually fed. The gospel is true, the church is true even if the people are not. We are all on this journey and it is important to remember this. This is your first step and I could not be happier for you. Also it does not necessarily just get easier since you are baptized. You need to stay committed to follow the gospel and take the effort. 

And the great thing about church each Sunday is that we get to partake of the sacrament and renew our covenants made at our baptism. 

Jesus gave us the example of baptism and showed us how to do it. He is a great example and I encourage you all to turn to him often. You will get your answers just like you did Amanda with the bag from your work. 

In closing I will share my favorite scripture about faith. 

From Alma 32: 

31 And now, behold, are ye sure that this is a good seed? I say unto you, Yea; for every seed bringeth forth unto its own likeness.

32 Therefore, if a seed groweth it is good, but if it groweth not, behold it is not good, therefore it is cast away.

33 And now, behold, because ye have tried the experiment, and planted the seed, and it swelleth and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, ye must needs know that the seed is good.

34 And now, behold, is your knowledge perfect? Yea, your knowledge is perfect in that thing, and your faith is dormant; and this because you know, for ye know that the word hath swelled your souls, and ye also know that it hath sprouted up, that your understanding doth begin to be enlightened, and your mind doth begin to expand.

So Amanda again congrats on growing your seed of faith and choosing to be baptized tonight. And I say all of these things in the name of Jesus Christ amen.  

Changes

They say everything happens for a reason. But for someone like me, I do not like waiting to see the reason. Are you guilty of this too?
So for those who know me personally know I work 2 jobs. I did not really need to work two jobs as my full time job gets me by. But I share custody with Seth's dad and there a couple of days a week in which I do not have him. Before Jeffrey moved across country and married me I was so depressed without Seth on those days. So I kept asking my dad who was one of the managers at our local Uno's if he needed a host or something on those random days I did not have Seth. After a while he said to apply and I interviewed with the main manager. I was hired on the spot and thrilled. I already knew a bunch of the servers since we would eat there a lot and visit my dad. I would always joke that it took me to get paid to spend time with my dad as you have long unpredictable hours when working in the restaurant business.

I loved working at Uno. I had regulars who I knew their names and jobs and their favorite servers etc.  My son loved Uno and all of the wonderful things that happened there. Whether it was kids nights, or Christmas celebrations.  I will miss the amazing team I had the honor of working with.  They always had me laughing and smiling despite tense moments of long waits and kitchen mishaps.
I love all of my coworkers and they helped this single mom transition to a newlywed trying to manage it all. 

Look for the helpers

If you are in the USA or maybe just go onto CNN etc you will see massive shootings. The latest being yesterday in Florida at a high school. Who am I to write on such a topic? I just want to offer those that read some hope. I have always loved the quote by Mister Rogers himself: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” 


Teachers shielded students to protect them. Risking their own lives to save others. The feelings and thoughts they went thought I can not speak of. But always look for the helpers. There are still good people in the world. 
If you see something to be off.. SAY SOMETHING. It can possibly save lives and prevent these horrible acts of violence. 
I have been watching a lot of the news coverage and a teacher said the school had just prepared for a drill like this. This makes me have chills. Schools should not have to think of this terrible act occurring at their school. 

Many think of Valentine's Day as a made up holiday. But to have a massacre happen like yesterday in Florida, I think we need to just celebrate love even more. Tell everyone you love them. 
Be kind. Follow Jesus as an example. Treat others the way you want to be treated. 


Thank you all for reading my blog and I pray for those who were involved yesterday. I pray for them for when they go back to school. I pray for the educators who do not think they did enough or had to hide kids in closets to protect them. 

This week

In case anyone wants to know what happened in my ward and our messages we shared. 

Good Morning Sisters!!

Hope everyone enjoyed the rest of their Sabbath day. I know the Relief Society Planning Committee has been hard at work trying to come up with fun ideas of events etc.

So again if you have a calling that kept you out of RS or sick ..here is what you missed.

I don’t usually highlight who has the friendship basket but Stacy  had it this past week and she added in a magnet that had a wonderful quote that some sisters asked me to share here. “In life we do things. Some we wish we had never done. Some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads. But they all make us who we are, and in the end they shape every detail about us. If we were to reverse any of them we wouldn’t be the person we are. So just live, make mistakes, have wonderful memories. But never ever second guess who you are, where you have been and most importantly where it is you’re going.”-unknown.  Powerful right?!

So let us dive in. Sister S was the teacher this week and she had Erin’s daughters sing a verse of a song. It was beautiful and if someone still has the slip please share. (Seth got to mine)

We then listened to a talk by now President Russell M Nelson. https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865690015/President-Russell-M-Nelson-The-Book-of-Mormon-What-Would-Your-Life-be-Like-Without-it.html  I believe this is the direct link as the ending line of if you have diamonds vs rubies which one is a greater value to you?

Do you ever stop to think what your life would be like without the Book of Mormon?

What would you not know? What would you not have? These are the questions Sister S had us focus on for the discussion.

Sisters all around the room shared. Here are some highlights: “We have fulfillment in our lives.”

“In some ways we have the answers.”

“Everything just makes sense here.”

“There is no uncertainty anymore”

“The lessons on the atonement help so much. I understand the overall magnitude.”

“I’ve gotten to know Jesus Christ more. It is now personal. I know he knows me.”

“The temple! I did not know what I was missing.”

I shared that for me it was family. This was huge to me as I discovered family on my biological father’s side whom I have never known with family history and research, and the work for the dead we do.

“it feels like home”

“when first getting taught I thought it was weird. But I think it is really true that a young man just by here asked a question.”

“ I asked the elders how this will help me personally. People go through a lot but I needed to know for me how it would help me. Then the elders opened up to different scriptures that were personally helpful to me and what I was going through.”

“Your personal testimony works best”

Finally we finished with watching President Russell M Nelson talk again. He stated that when thinking of the Book of Mormon the word power comes to mind.  We are to study and pray every day. You will get your personal questions answered.  And finally we need to feel it so deeply we don’t want to live even one day without it.

Reacting to things

This weeks lesson if you attended my church or if you just need a reminder in general was more about how we react to things. Learning that we chose how to react. I honestly was not sure I was going to blog this week about the lesson. But seeing a post on my biological father's wifes social media made me almost quick to react. 

It was funny to me because they always complain how they are left out of things. Which is funny because they never call me or pay attention to me or my son etc. Now their post is about the grandparents not calling as much etc. See my uncle died in July and the family has not been the same. He was the glue that seemed to hold it all together. I wanted to post this very angry comment on the picture but I am choosing to not react that way. Instead my reaction is to maybe warn others to take that extra minute and think of what they are feeling, and why they posted that.  We can chose to be the better person
and try to make it so it does not affect our days as much.
I know that this is a reaction and maybe it will be taken the wrong way. But we all could learn to react differently.

What you may have missed if you missed church this sunday

Hello Sisters,

In case your calling had you busy third hour or maybe the nasty bugs going around had you at home… I have you covered.( at least with what was taught in my ward)

.

Today’s Lesson was taught by Sister A.  She started by asking us what we want to focus on in regards to the Sabbath day, as this is the focus for the next 6 months.

Some ideas included: What do we do after church now? For me personally it is learning to prepare for the Sabbath day. Does the house have what it needs in order to not need a trip to the store?

The main question Sister A had us focus on was: How is the Sacrament affecting your life?

We broke into small groups and looked at the prayers from D and C.  We were asked which part of it sticks out to us most. For my group it was the willingness to take the sacrament. Others had the remembrance of Jesus Christ as something that struck them.

A sister shared that our faith moves us to action. This really stood out to me.  We need to share and take action if we know the truth and we have to help others.

If you look up the sacrament prayer on an electronic device it will take you back to John 14:16 with a link. There is a connection of how we have Him forever with us.

Our church unlike others has the honor of taking Sacrament each week as opposed to other denominations where they may only take it once a month. Something I personally love is the fact ALL ages can take sacrament. The children in the ward do not have to wait until they are older etc. My nearly 3 year old knows to stop playing with his toys and fold his arms and knows the steps with bread first and water second.

When you are told you can’t take the sacrament for whatever reason you yearn for it or should have the mentality of this beautiful gift.  One sister shared how even when they travelled they made sure to always stop in at a church on Sundays.

It is important to teach our sons to say the sacrament prayer with an earnest sincere heart. You can hear it in their voices.

If you can not come to church to take sacrament you can get the approval from the bishop and have the proper authority to still get it. So if you are in the hospital or home due to other reasons etc then you still have the options to try and get sacrament. ( In Sister H’s case if there is a zombie apocalypse she will make sure to get bishop approval to still take the Sacrament.)  J

How can you help others?

I often feel like my busy schedule keeps me from volunteering like I used too. Let's be honest a full time job, a part time job, a mother of a two year old and a newlywed does not leave much room for much else. But sometimes helping does not mean you in the trenches rolling up your sleeves to help. Sometimes it is suggesting a place, or other person to help. There is this city page in our area which I belong too. I saw a mother post a video of water rushing out of her ceiling lights in her apartment. She needed help moving and it just happened to be the coldest week we have had yet. I reached out to her and told her about our churches missionaries. I messaged the elders as well and they were able to help. Without this connection this poor mom would have had to struggle even longer. Service sometimes is lending rides or just reaching out.
I know in my ward service is helping tend to the children at times when a mom needs to take another little one out of the chapel to feed, change or console. I love this type of service as it shows that it truly takes a village to raise children.
We are all better because of a little service. At least I think so. My neighbors jumped up to help with their snow blower as we had 18 inches of snow fall overnight recently.  This helped ensure safe travel out of our driveway and was the best gesture on a cold morning. I am blessed for the kindness of others. I also know giving service or helping arrange service is more rewarding.

Sunday Lesson

For those sisters with callings that keep them away from RS here is a fun recap of what you may have missed.
Upcoming events :


Sister Salvatore taught this week and despite admitting she had some teaching nerves she did fantastic! The lesson was “A yearning for home”By Elder Uchtdorf which was in the October 2017 general conference. 
She mentioned the Bobby the wonder dog story sticking out to her and his resilience on a trip home. I don’t want to spoil what happened to be sure to read it!
She thought about the trials she herself has to return home to her master.(Heavenly Father)

What are you willing to do to get home to your master?

God calls to you. 
-there is a way to return home!

What are the ways Heavenly Father has used you to help others? And how has he put others in your life to help you?

Some reasons to turn to the lord: god will use you to make the lives of others better, and others will in turn make your life better.

The service you can do for others can bond you. -Sister Allgood (paraphrased)

Example is a good way to be sharing , happiness and joy-Sister Johnson

Place good people in our path-this is something we can all pray about!

Heavenly Father needs us, every single one of us. 
We always focus on what more we need in ourselves. We see inadequacy yet we are qualified!

Grief

So as many of you readers may or may not know(depending if you are just joining the blog) I am divorced and remarried. And today something has happened that I have been dreading for a long time. A death of a family member in my ex's family. See I don't fully fit in anymore as I have moved on but I have a 2 year old son with my ex so in many ways we are still very much connected.  Grandpa Don left the world today and  honestly it is hitting me harder then I thought it would.  See my ex and I moved to Indianapolis where they lived to be closer to him and grandma and the other family out there after I lost a baby due to still birth. I ran far away from Ny and my problems and needed to clear my head. He and grandma welcomed us with open arms and hearts and was so excited to have Andrew close by. She would often ask if he was CEO yet of his company. Grandpa was the biggest kid at heart. He was a principal and was so great with kids. The picture below shows him rocking my nephews race car hat. There is a video too of him pretending to start the engine and shift gears.   I will miss him and his smile.

Hard to say goodbye

So as many may know or not know our church leader is a prophet of God and ordained to receive revelations from the Lord. He truly does the Lord's work here on earth. Since 2008 our prophet has been Thomas S Monson. Well last night at 10:01 pm he passed away at his home.  He is now reunited with his beloved wife. The plan of salvation is wonderful when you can be reunited with those you love. I hope he shakes the hands of all of my family up there. I am so proud of my own son whose only 2 1/2 and knows who he is based off of pictures. It means we is learning great things at home and at church.