time to reflect

I just wanted to thank all of you again for reading my thoughts and experiences on this crazy journey of mine.  I want to take some time now and thank someone whose really been there for me on this journey. Someone whose my other half, my best friend and who happens to be married to me. My husband and I have been through a lot these past few years and usually a loss of child can drift people apart. Couples usually face grief in all different ways and at different stages all at once. Many can not rebuild or ever feel the same. Now I do not know the mathematical statistics on this so it's just my opinion and observations and conversations with others who have experienced loss of a child. Andrew and I have grown stronger. There have been days where we seem to go back to square one with the grief but he is always there to  help me, catch me when I am sad and always listen. This has not been easy, but has been getting a little better day by day. I want to thank him for always being there for me and being my biggest fan. He is there for me whenever I need him, and I am so lucky to get to spend eternity with him.

Some people are worth melting for

Love is putting someone else's needs before your own. For me I learned to love through my mom and nana and papa. Papa helped bring me to faith. He taught me that God loved us and have us Jesus..his only son. Then Jesus laid down his life for all of us.

 I took my gram to her doctors appointment  last week. She is actually my great grandmother and is 96 years young.  She is a great example of what I strive for in life. Good health,family, longevity and see the world and how it's changed. 

Beautiful world

I get to spend most weekends with this beauty. Her sister favors Andrew so that's why she is not also featured in this post. Being a role model to them is fantastic. It makes me feel like family. So here is to another great weekend with some of the ones I love! Who are you making your weekends count with? 

Alma 32

I was driving to my appointment yesterday and I kept thinking Alma 32. I did not know why. So at a red light I quickly messaged the elders and asked them what verses they typically teach from Alma 32 because I had this overwhelming feeling to read something from there before my appt. The elders said " verses 21 til the end us about faith and talking about the seed growing." BOOM. That was it. Faith. I needed a faith boost, especially before going to see the fertility doctor ....yet again. So here below is what I needed to read yesterday....read it for yourself.

21 And now as I said concerning faith—^afaith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye ^bhope for things which are ^cnot seen, which are true.

 22 And now, behold, I say unto you, and I would that ye should remember, that God is ^amerciful unto all who believe on his name; therefore he desireth, in the first place, that ye should believe, yea, even on his word.

 23 And now, he imparteth his word by angels unto men, yea, ^anot only men but women also. Now this is not all; little ^bchildren do have words given unto them many times, which ^cconfound the wise and the learned.

 24 And now, my beloved brethren, as ye have desired to know of me what ye shall do because ye are afflicted and cast out—now I do not desire that ye should suppose that I mean to judge you only according to that which is true—

 25 For I do not mean that ye all of you have been compelled to humble yourselves; for I verily believe that there are some among you who ^awould humble themselves, let them be in whatsoever circumstances they might.

 26 Now, as I said concerning faith—that it was not a perfect knowledge—even so it is with my words. Ye cannot know of their surety at first, unto perfection, any more than faith is a perfect knowledge.

 27 But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than^adesire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.

 28 Now, we will compare the word unto a ^aseed. Now, if ye give place, that a^bseed may be planted in your ^cheart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your ^dunbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to ^eenlighten my ^funderstanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.

 29 Now behold, would not this increase your faith? I say unto you, Yea; nevertheless it hath not grown up to a perfect knowledge.

 30 But behold, as the seed swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, then you must needs say that the seed is good; for behold it swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow. And now, behold, will not this strengthen your faith? Yea, it will strengthen your faith: for ye will say I know that this is a good seed; for behold it sprouteth and beginneth to grow.

 31 And now, behold, are ye sure that this is a good seed? I say unto you, Yea; for every seed bringeth forth unto its own ^alikeness.

 32 Therefore, if a seed groweth it is good, but if it groweth not, behold it is not good, therefore it is cast away.

 33 And now, behold, because ye have tried the experiment, and planted the seed, and it swelleth and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, ye must needs know that the seed is good.

 34 And now, behold, is your ^aknowledge ^bperfect? Yea, your knowledge is perfect in that thing, and your ^cfaith is dormant; and this because you know, for ye know that the word hath swelled your souls, and ye also know that it hath sprouted up, that your understanding doth begin to be enlightened, and your ^dmind doth begin to expand.

 35 O then, is not this real? I say unto you, Yea, because it is ^alight; and whatsoever is light, is ^bgood, because it is discernible, therefore ye must know that it is good; and now behold, after ye have tasted this light is your knowledge perfect?

 36 Behold I say unto you, Nay; neither must ye lay aside your faith, for ye have only exercised your faith to plant the seed that ye might try the experiment to know if the seed was good.

 37 And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit.

 38 But if ye ^aneglect the tree, and take no thought for its nourishment, behold it will not get any root; and when the heat of the sun cometh and scorcheth it, because it hath no root it withers away, and ye pluck it up and cast it out.

 39 Now, this is not because the seed was not good, neither is it because the fruit thereof would not be desirable; but it is because your ^aground is ^bbarren, and ye will not nourish the tree, therefore ye cannot have the fruit thereof.

 40 And thus, if ye will not nourish the word, looking forward with an eye of faith to the fruit thereof, ye can never pluck of the fruit of the ^atree of life.

 41 But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with ^apatience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree ^bspringing up unto everlasting life.

 42 And because of your ^adiligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the ^bfruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst.

 43 Then, my brethren, ye shall ^areap the ^brewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth^cfruit unto you.

Needed this today

This picture is exactly what I needed to see today. These past few weeks have been just overly tough for me. For some reason I get into this funk from feb. 14th to April 9th. These were the days publicly that people knew I was 12-20 weeks pregnant. The congrats poured in along with excitement and cheer. Those were the best weeks. Now almost 2 years later I am finding them hard. Many people tell me over and over they have no idea how I have this great strength. Or that if was their story they would not have pushed through it like I have. I know God has so much on store for me. For Andrew and I. I know we are on earth to have those happy moments and yes family. But it's now my thought too that families do come in many forms. We continue foster parent classes and I know this is a step in the right direction. My heart is just so full of love.

Family

So I have this beautiful wall art piece in my living room that displays the word family with this below it:

FAMILY 

noun: one of life's greatest blessings,a household full of unconditional love and nurturing where you share hurt,joys, laughter, and fears. Members who share the same values, beliefs and traditions. A group descending from a common ancestor. Your support system. The people who know you best. Those whom you make the greatest memories of your life. 

I love this beautiful wall art and today after a long day of church and time with my best friend and her family I just keep thinking I am so blessed. I belong to many families. Talking to my Bishop today and I said that I now have my church family and I love time at church. Realizing I have so many great families makes me appreciate everything I have. After getting married it was honestly hard seeing many other married couples having kids around us. We finally became pregnant and I thought this was now the family I would have. Things changed and it's sill just Andrew and I and yes there have been many times where I have felt that two people are not a family. I have been so wrong. I have always agreed to the fact that families are made up of so many different combinations of people. They often say losing a child is the hardest thing and can really take a toll on marriage.  It hasn't been easy but Andrew and I have grown stronger. What has helped over the past 6 months especially is knowing that families are forever. I as a Mormon believe in eternal families. What a gift to know that even though I was pregnant with my son for only 5 short months..that I have him eternally as my son. Wow. Think of that for a bit. Forever united. Forever in a state of utopia with those you love most. I don't know about you.. But I am all about being with my family forever. To learn more check out the plan of salvation. If unsure feel free to research on lds.org or even chat with a Mormon on Mormon.org...or call the local missionary office for a lesson of your own!

Grow your families,grow your love, grow your faith.

Not my cup of tea.

As a Mormon there are certain things we do and do not do. One of them is drink tea or coffee. (You can drink herbal tea since it is natural however) this and a few other guidelines are incorporated into the Word of Wisdom. This revealed some substances we should not be putting into our body. Other things include illegal and legal drugs that are not prescription should not be entering our bodies. I never stopped to think about how bad coffee is for you until these past few months. How many people do you know that just can't function without that cup or two of coffee in the morning? I know lots of people myself. I never was big into coffee to begin with so this part of conversion was easy.  

I am finding it interesting with what to day when asked to grab a cup of coffee with someone. I am not much for hot chocolate so I can't really suggest that. Someone asked me once of I would be offended if she drank coffee in front of me. Of course you can. Just because I elect not to doesn't mean I take offense.  

Praying for an extra 5

Well if your from anywhere in upstate Ny do not get freaked out thinking I am praying for an extra five inches of snow! In fact it's 5 extra people each day that may or not need prayers.(they just might not know they need me to pray for them) at the local stake conference(for those non Mormon or non religious friends it's : stake conference is just a large gathering of all members of my LDS church in the whole rochester area) we were asked to be mindful of others and add five people to pray about daily. Well easy! Andrew and I pray aloud before bed each night and we each have been saying our own five aloud. So if you ever ever ever need someone else to keep you in their prayers or know of a family member that could use someone thinking about them feel free to email me or post a reply. My email is mrsjonas611@gmail.com. We kinda "cheat" and do more than 5 because we always pray for anyone in the military and all first responders. But really setting those 5 people apart is so great because I would like to think that their days get better in some way. Today I may additionally pray that the snow does stop. It's been pretty awful in my area. My husband has been at the fire station for the last couple of hours on standby. I am hoping everyone remains safe. 

Next I (again) want to thank those who read this. It's amazing to know I have interested (or maybe just bored) people who have read anything I have had to say. I love to know that I am reaching so many people.  And honestly being able to see the different countries people have read from is incredible. 

I challenge my readers to add 5 people into their prayers. It does wonders. Thinking of others before you go to bed I think just helps boost positive energy and creates positive dreams. Whose making it into your 5??

Thank you!!!

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Convert problems

Something's I don't have a handle in just yet..include the fact that I no longer have to give something up for lent. I never knew that lent is really just for Catholics...and being Catholic previously I found myself googling whether or not Mormons partake in lent. I have also googled if Mormons go tanning. I have no clue why. Honestly it's pretty funny to me know. Another thing that I have changed is my dress code. I have always dressed what I thought was modestly but  when I would wear V necks before I thought nothing of it. Now I can't even put those shirts on unless I have scarves to cover up or a sweatshirt. It's weird because I just changed what shorts I would pick to wear first. One thing that I notice is how much happier I am. I look forward to church every week  and seeing those who I have become close to through the church. However since I am still reading the Book of Mormon I have some confusion. Luckily the Elders in my area have answered all of my texts and helped with my confusion. One time while reading it talked about those having blind eyes or deaf ears to the true message they will be pretty much cast off. I panicked because my sister in law is blind and I have hearing loss in my left ear. I took the verse so literally I was so worried. The Elders cleared up my mind thought and I agreed not to read when so tired.  I also try not to google things about what Mormons do and do not believe. Rather look on lds.org or Mormon.org or ask one of my friends at church. 

Talents

Talking about talents today in Sunday school at church and just made me want to ask all if my readers..what are your talents? How do you use them? How can they benefit others? I have a few different talents. I would say being a good role model and a coach would be at the top of my list. However Elder Kelly suggested that this blog is a great talent of mine to be able to share positive messages with others. It's humbling to know that others are seeing something in me that I really did not think was much of anything. I have always been told that I have a way with words and this seems to be ringing true today. I urge all of my readers to share their talents with others. Whether mechanics, doctors, artists, friends, coaches air teachers among the few talents listed...share and help others. Go out if your way to make someone's day.