What a year!

I think that this year besides graduating high school and heading to college has been one of the most exciting years. Yeah in other years I became a mom, or moved to a new state to try out.(Just to come back to NY because I missed everyone way too much) But the year of being a senior in high school to picking which college you want and finally going is so exciting and busy. And well thinking about how great this year has been made me think back to when I got all of the college letters back and had the lucky privilege to chose where I really wanted to go in the end.

Since becoming divorced I always had to think even more so about my son and what I do to impact his life. Ergo was getting into a relationship with someone from Utah a good idea? Can I fully open up my heart again? Well I did and I have found the love of my life, and my best friend.

So this year I got engaged and married, spent every week visiting my papa,Seth turned two and we bought a house! We had two wedding receptions and sent emails to our missionary serving in CA and so much more. I am blessed to have found my dream person 2017 miles away.

Truly Honored

So it has been awhile and I really wanted to share most of this post on Facebook , however I knew it would be long. So here goes: My passion for history will come out so fair warning.
Kristallnacht or other wise known as Night of the Broken glass has it's 79th anniversary today. Now for those of you who may not know what his is and think an anniversary is great.... well this is the anniversary of the start of the destruction of the Jewish people and the life they once knew.
From the United States Holocaust Memorial Museums page : n two days, over 250 synagogues were burned, over 7,000 Jewish businesses were trashed and looted, dozens of Jewish people were killed, and Jewish cemeteries, hospitals, schools, and homes were looted while police and fire brigades stood by. The pogroms became known as Kristallnacht, the "Night of Broken Glass," for the shattered glass from the store windows that littered the streets.

The morning after the pogroms 30,000 German Jewish men were arrested for the "crime" of being Jewish and sent to concentration camps, where hundreds of them perished. Some Jewish women were also arrested and sent to local jails. Businesses owned by Jews were not allowed to reopen unless they were managed by non-Jews. Curfews were placed on Jews, limiting the hours of the day they could leave their homes."

 This started the movement of ghettos, and camps and total destruction. I have been so fortunate in my life to hear from Holocaust survivors and have met two that witnessed this horrific destruction. One spoke last night at the local community college and introduced the main speaker Dr Deborah Lipstadt. She is an author and professor. She wrote the book entitled Denying the Holocaust:The Growing Assault on Truth and Memory.     About 10 years ago for the same college I took this English 105 level class in which we needed to write a 20 page paper by the end of the term on an argumentative stance. Most people did not chose heavy topics. In fact some took whether or not Batman or Superman was the best superhero or whether people should be star wars fans or star trek fans. But see I was the rare exception. See I was taking every Holocaust and Genocide related class that my community college offered. So I wrote on why people deny the Holocaust. I used the very book Dr. Lipstadt wrote to help me form my essay earning me and A.  

I was involved with a campus student run human rights organization entitled the Holocaust Genocide, and Human Rights Project. Heck depending on the year at the college I was a President as well I have been so blessed to lead such an incredible organization that makes an impact at the school but also the community. They had a packed house last night for Dr. Lipstadt and it was so surprise why. This topic of human rights and the Holocaust is still so important to learn from. While the number of Holocaust survivors are decreasing I have made it my mission to hear and interview as many survivors as I possibly can. This now translates into my parenting of my son. The same college puts on a memorial each April where we are able to hear survivors and hear the names of those who did not survive. Seth is now 2 1/2 and just weeks after he was born I was walking into that event with him in tow. He has been able to hear 6 speakers. Though he will not remember, I will help him remember.  

It is critical to treat other humans how you want to be treated. The golden rule. It is important to Never Forget.  I am so lucky to be apart of the alumni group of the Holocaust, Genocide ,and Human Rights Project.  And I love the fact that they still work so hard to bring incredible speakers to the college and community. 

Thank you also to my mom for giving me this passion. She sat me down when I was young and showed me Schindler's List. She paused when she needed to and answered my questions. She taught me to learn from others and learn from history. So thank you mom for instilling the love of history in me. It made me pursue it in college.

30 Flirty and Thriving

I am now officially 30, well as of the other day.  Things have been wonderful! My amazing husband took me to this hotel for the weekend that also had an indoor water park attached. Though it was more geared towards kids... my little 2 year old loved it! He was so nervous at first going down the one water slide, but after showing him he could be brave he ended up going by himself dozens of times.

I also got my wedding pictures back and I could not be more thrilled with how they turned out!!
Since becoming a member of my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I have always had my eye on the temple. Temple marriage is something I wanted. I never did believe in the whole death til you part bit of vows. In the Temple you are sealed for all of time and eternity. I love you my Jeffrey and I am so glad I get the honor of being with you for eternity.









I am so blessed to have these pictures and so much more. I am excited for this next decade with my husband and son.(and hopefully more children!!)

 Until next time... pray always!

Been a little while

Good morning readers!!!



Yesterday I completed the first 5k with my husband of what will hopefully be many more. We actually got to do it with another couple from church. This series is great because you can run/walk/bike etc on your own time and schedule during the race week and where you want! So we did around the community we live in. Another awesome thing that happened was finding the painted rocks people are putting out in the community. You paint rocks and hide them. There is a Facebook group associated and you post that you found it and then you are to hide it in another place with a little clue. There are so many creative designs being painted. How amazing. Imagine if you add a verse or something. You can spread the love of Christ as well. What ways are you doing that in your life? Are you? What is stopping you if you are not? I know around both of my jobs I am known as the Mormon girl. I stick out. And honestly I am glad I do. I do not talk about getting wasted on weekends and drink specials etc. I wear my modest clothes and do not have to worry about others wondering why in the world I am dressing in certain ways. It helps with working at the restaurant I do. Granted the uniforms are modest in style etc. I do not have to worry most cases about being hit on etc. I also like to be known as the girl with cute sweater cardigans and fun fashion choices. So do not be afraid to stand out. Be different then the new norms of today.

O my heck I am married!!!

First off this picture is taken by Red Magnolia Photo and Maggie is an incredible photographer. So check out her stuff!! http://redmagnolia.wix.com/redmagnolialtd

On Friday July 14th my sweetheart and I walked into the Temple hand in hand and were sealed!! We as Mormons believe in eternal marriage. Yes we believe that it does not just end when you die. (cringe at that thought) But we get to be with the one who we love forever and ever and yep you guessed it... FOREVER! At the temple we were surrounded by the best people. I even had one of my OG missionaries(original) who flew in from AZ to be with me for the special day and be a groomsmen. Whoop Whoop shout out to Pedro for being a rockstar and making it to the Temple for me!  


Here he is pictured with my little handsome boy!!






I am forever grateful for those who helped in any way or even came to witness us come together as one. I love my husband and I am so impressed with how great he is with Seth. Their love for one another has me in awe.

Side note we spend a lot of time in the Sacred Grove. We went there the first weekend together, when we got engaged, a week before the wedding and the day after. Here is a great picture that I just can not stop staring at.. taken of us at the Sacred Grove. 



I am so lucky that I have found my perfect Match.

My most uncomfortable time as a Mormon

Hey everyone. As some know I am getting married again in July.  Now if you are not a member or my church we dress modestly. We dress to cover church garments. I ordered a dress from China originally that was modest and my dream dress. Sadly when it came it was basically a slip with a half finished detail. Lucky for me I was able to receive a full refund and the maker was very kind. With time running low I had to look elsewhere to meet my modesty standards. So off to David's bridal I went two months ago. Let me tell you how incredibly uncomfortable it is to try on dresses in the middle of the shop with everyone staring at you while wearing a garment top. Flash forward to now when I had to go for my alterations appointment. Alone I went to my appointment and there I was standing in my dress where this lady whose pinning my dress keeps asking me why I am wearing a T-shirt. I kindly let her know several times it was a church garment. I got the many questions of why I can't take it off or tuck under the sleeves etc. Being from an area where we don't have Wards on most streets I felt so awkward. I stuck out and she was not the most sensitive to my needs. I desperately wished the sweet lady who was Muslim was doing my appointment because she met with me when I picked the dress and she understood needing to meet modesty requirements. 

I have never felt that uncomfortable as a LDS woman. And I know it's a smaller thing but for me it was like being on stage exposed.

Prayer Request

I do not know who will even take the time to read this. But if you do, and in whatever language you need to do so...I need prayers for my uncle. Now this is just not the average uncle. See my mom and biological father are not together and frankly have not been since I was 6 months old. So family relationships were severed as the two families were in face now two separate families. Years back as an adult I tried to rekindle some sort of simple family dynamic with my biological father and well nothing came of it. Sorry if you read this but that is the truth. I hated my last name growing up because no one in my family had it. Though when I re-met my uncle and aunt...finally I was happy to know a connection with my last name. They have two kids and it has been great knowing I have more family. They have always made me feel included and welcome. Even if tension was there with other family members. I love my aunt and uncle and all they have done to make me know I was always wanted and thought of.

My uncle was having back issues and balances issues about a week ago. He has had other health issues in the past and has seemed to overcome the obstacles. This time he had major compression on his spine and a risky surgery had to be performed. My uncle is now paralyzed and it is said he will never walk. He can't squeeze my hand or even wiggle his fingers. I saw him last night and had the hardest time seeing him in this new situation.  He has the highest amount of oxygen one can have and can not eat or drink.  This is not the once soccer player and coach I know.  Though his eyes lifted at jokes my mom said. He is still in need of prayers and a miracle.

A very Happy Birthday to....

A wonderful birthday to Anthony. For those who have not read my blog before he is one of my original missionaries. I actually was just thinking of my testimony recently and how strong it has grown in the 3 1/2 years since becoming a member of this great church. (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) Just last night I had two of the sister missionaries over and shared a little bit of my testimony to the newer sister. I realized that just 4 short months after my second miscarriage I was able to conceive Seth. I then think to the week of that loss. I drove an hour to see Anthony for a blessing.  I could have seen anyone that held the priesthood. However I thought back to when he taught us as investigators; he told us about the plan of happiness (Plan of Salvation). This included the concept of families being truly forever, and eternal. My son Matthew who I lost at 5 months of pregnancy was in fact waiting for me. These words rang true when I lost the second baby. While just as upsetting; I was able to think of church teachings and get a blessing. I was able to have comfort and reassurance that I would in fact be able to be a mom. I am glad Anthony was a worthy priesthood holder. Now here he is today a dad , and husband and doing great things for his family in Utah. His wife and I have become great friends and I love seeing and skyping with his little girl.
I am so fortunate for the missionaries and even more for him knocking on doors with his companion.
So why not try and open our doors and hearts to the missionaries? It changed my life and I bet it will change you life as well.

Easter Reflections

Good Morning Everyone!!!

Man yesterday was Easter and boy was it fantastic!! The primary kids sang a song, same with ward choir and other special musical performances happened at church.  Church was filled with so many people visiting their families from out of town, and well the little girl's dresses were floral and beautiful.   Though I think Seth was the cutest little guy.

We had a brunch with my papa(grandfather) at his assisted living home and then dinner later with my family. I also got to hear the homecoming speech of a newer friend who served in New Jersey. My fiance recorded it back in Utah for me so I didn't have to miss out. Thank goodness for technology.

Did you know Jesus died for you? That he loves you? Each and every one of you. Even if you have never heard of him. He loves all of us and gave up himself to forgive all sins. Past. Present. Future.


Mormon.org is a great resource to learn more. Or feel free to reach out to me through here if ever wanting to meet with the church missionaries like my friend who just came home!



Now go out there and do something great for others!

My Son Turns 2!!

Today I was reminded that my son turns two in exactly 7 days. Where has the time even gone?? I remember trying to get pregnant after a stillbirth and miscarriage and I never saw this blessing coming my way. And what a true blessing he is!

Seth is the best thing to happen to me. And it is because of my faith and the fact that I do not give up when tested and pushed to my limits, that I know I have him. He is so incredibly smart and can even count to ten while sorting his toys. He has reminded me of how to be patient and enjoy the simple things in life like learning a new task. This morning's excitement came from putting on his own glasses and having the sides tuck nicely behind his ears. He shouted " I did it!!" and I don't think I have ever been more proud of anyone putting on glasses as I did for my son this morning. He is truly the best.

I am thankful for Heavenly Father for giving me such an amazing healthy boy. Seth truly is my miracle child and I am so fortunate.  

Time has flown by way too fast. Feels like yesterday I was bringing him home, and now he is about to be two and switching daycare classrooms as he gets older.  I just love his little face and had to share. I never planned for things to go the way they did with the separation and divorce, but I am honestly glad they happened. They showed me I could do it on my own. Raise a baby and work. Sure I have help and his dad and I work as a team, but it is very different then two parents in the home. I met the love of my life and Seth loves him just as much. I am excited for more birthdays even though I still may always cry and miss the days where we come home from our fays and snuggle on the couch watching cartoons. Or where he gives me a kiss and asks for more kisses about 4-5 times.

Hope all of you who read this have a wonderful day and thank you for tuning into my blog. 

Forgiveness

Good Morning!!

First I want to start off with this link right here. > Click Here  Its a video put on the by the church about forgiveness. This video hit me to the core. I have honestly been harboring some anger and resentment towards someone who does not even know it. So who has it been hurting??? Only me. As this person does not know I am hurt or upset.  So watching a video on what it means to forgive is important.

I shared on facebook about the amazing experience I had with a Holocaust Survivor in Indiana. She founded the C.A.N.D.L.E.S museum in Terre Haute Indiana. Check out the museum site by clicking here.   Eva Kor along with her twin sister were used in inhumane experimentation.
She publicly forgave Dr. Mengele and all that he did to her and her sister. This takes great courage and strength in oneself.


It is now the send of February and I started this post a few days before Valentine's day. Who knew the Lord needed me to learn how to forgive on something that would occur just a few days after this post. I do not want to go into full details here but a friend of 17 years let jealousy of another friendship slowly ruin what we had. The happiest time in my life of being engaged has been stressful due to wanting to please others first. Mainly hurting this friends feelings simply because I thought her and my other friend would be able to both be Matron's of Honor for my special day.  Things came to a blow and a friendship was ruined. My name was then blasted on social media and I was portrayed as a thief when in fact she left her belongings at my church, I grabbed them for her as a nice gesture and then was told to leave her items on my porch so her husband could grab them. They took the risk of those items getting stolen and sadly it was the first day of school break and kids are not the most honest of people in my complex.
As crazy as it was unfolding and seeing her message of hate on her page being sent to me by friends, it was those I have known since I was in 7th grade that upset me. People rushing to take sides.
Sometimes people do not need to take sides. Sometimes people do not need to get involved at all.

As for me... This week has been stress free and I forgive her for slamming my name through the mud with her lies. as God knows the truth and he is the one who judges in the end. Those who truly know me have been there for me through it all and remain there.

2017

Alas another year has come and gone, and the slogans of the infamous " new year ,new me" have started to pop up in all aspects of your social media. So I will try and refrain from quote and spare you. But this year has already had some new beginnings for me. Divorced and dating someone new, I may have gone bold and did a crazy hair color as well... ok yes I did. I added pink balyage to my hair. Hey you only live once right?! Unless you are LDS then you live can live with those you lover forever in the Kingdom of Heaven, or unless it is shared on the internet and then you are forever going to be remembered.


Been a few weeks of the year 20-17 and well for me personally it has begun to be the best year in a while. For those who have been reading this blog for a while now you may or may not know that I am a divorced mom. And well though I have not shared I have been dating and that wonderful God loving man, who not only loves me, but loves my son. We actually fell in love during scripture studies over skype!  Can it get any more holy then that? It can! When we went to the Palmyra Temple during my birthday weekend (it was closed so we just stayed outside on the temple grounds) and we prayed together. It was a warm day with no breeze. We prayed out loud together asking Heavenly Father if this was meant to be and if we should continue on this long distance relationship journey, and if marriage was to be in our future. Suddenly out of no where the wind picked up and we both felt chills. This was true confirmation. Now it does not always happen on the spot like this... and I surely was not expecting an answer then.... however if you really open up your hearts during prayers, and seek an answer I know Heavenly Father will  answer back.