Goodbye's

Goodbye is one of the hardest words for me to say. And with meeting Mormon Missionaries you can be saying goodbye could happen every transfer. This week I say goodbye to one of the final original missionaries that has helped me become who I am today. Elder Fierros is finding out later tonight which area he will be transferred to. Usually the missionaries do not find out until Sunday night, but the area President called him yesterday to let him know he will be transferring and training a new missionary. So yesterday Elder Fierros came over to break the bad news in person. I wish him nothing but the best in the future, and I am so lucky we had 4 months together. You were inspirational and such a great person. I am honored to have been one of your first families to really get to know while on your mission, and I am so happy to be talking to your sister Rubi and helping her know you have been in great hands. I will never forget discussing the spirit, and special verses in the Book of Mormon. I will forever be grateful when looking at my home and seeing everything you helped paint, set up or move around. Your belly is more full and maybe a little more round from my cooking, and my heart has grown immensely. I know coming into the LDS faith and finding my way was in part to you and I am so happy to know you.

Dare to Stand OUT

As a history major I was always interested in the tougher times in history.  The who ,what, where and why things happen. It's those who stick up for others that are the true heroes.  Those who dare to be different can make a difference. I love that I was always taught by my mom to speak up for others. Try to do right....not only for yourself but for others. Enjoy the little moments. I get to work with some of the most amazing adults. They have different developmental disabilities and it is my job to help them at the different non profit sites we go to, and train them in different job skills to help them one day gain full time employment. They make a difference everyday.

What a blessed day!

These past few days I have been feeling so awful and sick. I have just been praying to feel even an ounce better so I could go to church. I woke up this morning feeling a little bit better and decided to go. I am so glad we did. The lessons were great and I got to see a new face again this week. I always love seeing other people at church with tattoos. I converted so I had all of my tattoos before converting. I always get excited to see others because then I don't feel as left out. Who knows if I would have even gotten any if I was born and raised into this specific faith. Anyways... we also talked about tithing and offerings today. For those who may not know what tithing is...its basically a 10% payment( if possible) to the church. One thing that I liked is that we talked about that the money goes for. The building of Temples, churches, Missionary programs, printing of the actual Book of Mormon and so much more. Unlike other religions leadership is a calling instead of an occupation, so most leaders in our church do not get paid any percentage of the money its members give. The paying of tithing is intimidating to me, but I have heard so many stories of others miracle of being able to pay and feeling the blessings occur. I want this  to for Andrew and I. I am looking forward to giving back as much as I can.

Have a great week!

Spiritual Moment.

So 6 missionaries and my husband and I's best friends just left our home a while ago. The house was full or laughter and joy. Elder Vickers shared a short video with us and the story was basically of a man searching for big hunks of gold when he was really missing out on all of the flakes that the river had to offer him. What are you searching for that is the "big ticket item" that you are missing the small moments? I often think of missing out on the little things that you could be doing for someone else. Take marriage for example..if you stop doing the little things or taking the time to appreciate the small moments in life then it will all just pass you by. Marriage needs to be a constant worked upon event..in my humble opinion. Today we had our first home teaching meeting and now thing we touched upon was some blessings we have felt since our baptism and the laying on of hands to receive the Holy Ghost. Nervously I opened up in front of one of my new home teachers about my pregnancy loss. For those of you who do not know... I was 5 months pregnant and the day after easter I just felt awful. I called the doctors office telling them I sensed something was wrong and they kept pushing me off. Hours later after my doctor finally made time for me it was to late. I was already delivering my son at 5 months of pregnancy. He died in the process of delivery and since he was not at a vital organ saving age there was nothing they could do. Ever since April 9th 2012 I have had a harder time when it comes to faith. I will be honest it is hard to see the initial positive after such a horrific event.  Now almost tow years later and 20 months of trying for our second child I am keeping my faith.
Many would give up. Many would kick themselves after each appointment of negative doctors appointments. I did that for so long. But honestly ever since baptism I have had a little bit of an easier time facing the "no's" that the doctors or tests have told me. Being baptized may not change how everyone feels but I can say it is a little easier to hear the no. I mean a few months ago I had a friend approach me and ask if her cousin decided on adoption for her baby would I consider adoption. I talked with both birth parents and was ready with Andrew to continue the process and the baby was due in January. My heart skipped with joy when the mother revealed it was a boy. Soon after the gender reveal I was told that they decided to keep the baby and try to be the best parents they could be. If we just look at the face value of something we could never move past it. I was really crushed but I am still Facebook friends with the parents and I am so happy seeing their little moments they share with their son. God has a plan for all of us. It may not be our plan but he knows what is in our heart and will give us what we need. I am waiting on this part of my story. I know it will happen and the little moments or victories in the mean time are worth it.


Keep praying.

Love is not an end

So reading an article and these things stuck out to me...

1. Love is not an end
Some people's solution to the growing divorce rate in America is to find out who you are and get what you want in life before you enter marriage; that way you're never left guessing whether you could've had more during your marriage. I hate this view. It makes it seems like you have to have everything together before you get married, like marriage is a halt to your ambitions, stopping you from doing what you want and becoming who you need to be.
Love is not an end. It is continuous, encouraging and cultivating us to be more in this world. Love, when expressed in its greatest fashion, is meant to encourage your dreams, not stifle them.

2. Love is not part of a checklist to life
When people talk about life and love, they act as if falling in love and getting married are part of some cosmic checklist to life that everyone has to accomplish. The thing about this view is that when you have checklists, you feel unsatisfied unless you move onto the next thing and cross it off your list. Marriage then becomes a requirement for everyone.
For me, I find magic in the idea that marriage is not something I have to do; it’s something I choose to do. Seeing marriage in this light adds value to what I'm doing, beautifies it by making it a choice rather than an obligation.

3. Love is not determined by age
People say I’m young, and that’s true. But when people say I’m too young for marriage, I oppose that. Maturity and love are not defined within numbers; they’re expressed through manner. Sometimes, maturity is linked with age, but as you grow older, your thinking, your circumstances, and how you position yourself in society define your maturity. If you prove yourself to be ready for marriage, then a number shouldn’t tell you otherwise.

4. Love is not measured by the quantity of your money.
People wait to get engaged until they make a certain amount, and there's nothing wrong with that. But that's not my story. In my heart, I was wildly in love with my fiancé, so much so that I couldn't wait till I had a steady job. What I knew was that when it came down to it, I would buckle down and provide, no matter what that costs me.
If to love is to risk, then let love be measured by risk, not by how comfortable you are.

5. Most importantly, love is an adventure.
Some people live boring love stories, where their relationship is nothing more than a routine of dinner and a movie. When love is viewed as a routine, it’s easy to encourage others not to jump into it at an early age. We tell others to live life while they’re young, but maybe, to love is to live life. Because love, in its right sense, is an adventure, compelling us to live better stories with our lives. It doesn’t make sense to dull love down to habit and procedure. If love is to live to its potential, it should continue to sprout new stories and new journeys, sprinkling our lives with creativity and enjoyment rather than boredom.
Love is the most creative and daring adventure anyone could choose to go on. This means that the only end associated with marriage is the ending to a boring and complacent story.

These are the foundational lessons on love I’m holding onto as I get ready to marry my best friend. They remind me that the only insanity I have is to love deeply and passionately; and in my opinion, that’s the best form of insanity there is.



I did not write the above. Neal Samudre did and can be found on twitter. He is right and I am proud to say I was engaged before 23 and married at 24. We will spend forever together. We will fight for what we believe in and we will fight to be together. We will have to work at it...everyday. And I am willing to do those things and more.

At the right place

Things really happen for a reason. We may never ever know why. You may not know why you get a call delivering bad news. Or why you keep going to the doctors every two weeks to get looked at to try and start a family.  Bad things do happen to good people. And likewise good things do happen to bad people. No one can explain it but God. But to my friend in particular who got some crappy news. I will just hope and pray that you are able to find peace, and just live life everyday the way you want. I am always here for you.

From Heather's Husband

All,
   My name is Andrew Jonas, and I am Heather's husband.  I have been hearing every night how much this blog has meant to her and her faith, and about the many people she has touched. I wanted to take a little time tonight and write a post of my own for her blog.  I was listening to a song today on the radio, and it really made an impression on me. I will name the song after the post, but think about this. How many times have you heard the phrase "Jesus died to save the world from sin". I don't know about you, but there has been a lot of people to walk this earth. Say 10 billion so far.  What does that say for us.  We are just 1 person.  Pass us on the street, and most likely we are forgotten as soon as we are passed.  If that is the case for normal people, what does that say for Jesus.  If we were the only person to have walked the earth along with him, would he still have sacrificed his life for us?  This song goes through all of that. It assures us that, although we might just be one in a sea of faces, we are still children of God.  We mean the world to our Father in Heaven.  Even if we were the only person on Earth, God will still love us as much as he does. He would still send his son for us.  How awesome is that.  Something to think about for the weekend to come.

-Andrew J.

Song - Kutless, "Sea of Faces"

Reflections on The Saratov Approach

First off...if you know a missionary in the field this movie may be very hard to watch. However if you just shield yourself from the truth how will you ever grow and learn? With that being said this movie and story is intense. I went from a few chuckles here and there to balling and feeling for the families. A great story of believing in Heavenly Father and knowing he truly has a plan for you. One highlight was actually having previews that were Christian in nature..and coming out very soon!!

I won't give away the full story line but I have been waiting for this movie for a while. My cousin on Andrews side saw it in Utah months ago and wrote on Facebook about it. I quickly looked it up to see if it was playing near me in upstate NY. Sadly only playing in Utah...but crazy enough for 1 week only it played in Ny and the theater 5 minutes from my house...seriously what are the odds?? 

Go see it.

Pray.

Have faith in humanity.

Love others like Jesus loves you. 

Keep praying! This week I went for another fertility appt. I really dislike these appointments. Every two weeks for the last 19 months I have gone to the doctor. 20$ a visit and still no baby. Most women would be so broken up from this. I to have had my moments of "why me" "it's never going to work" "maybe I am not meant to be a mom" but honestly I just need to keep my faith and trust that God knows my hearts desires. He knows I will be a great mom and I will have the family I have always desired. Keep working at it. I know it will happen for me and I know whatever you may have in your heart may work for you as well!

Come one, come all!!

The picture below really captures the words I word say to you if you're hesitating to find faith. At this point any faith. I was not perfect. No one is. And I am able to sit here today one step closer to being together with my family forever in Heaven.