I haven't posted in a while so those who still continue to read...thank you! September was a tough month for me and it hasn't gotten any easier. I was told I was no longer loved by my husband and asked to leave. Divorce is never something I thought would be in my plans and I know Heavenly Father doesn't necessarily want marriages to end up in a divorce. Why am I again sharing this all? Because not one have I stopped going to church. Not once have I stopped knowing that my Heavenly Father loves me. I know my son loves me unconditionally and this hasn't and won't change. (Ok maybe when he reaches the teenage years he may have some angst but he will always still love me)
I have struggled so much being a single mom at church too. But days I literally am on the verge of tears and want to go home after first hour , I am surprised by friends who lend a helping hand with my son and a thoughtful ear for me. They hold him so I can sneak to the bathroom etc. That happened this past Sunday. Was visiting my old ward and my sons dad didn't pack enough clothes and so we thought we would be ok. Well my son owed right through the diaper and onto my best friend. I panicked and luckily had a shirt in my car. Sadly it was the coldest weekend NY has had in a long time and I just felt defeated.
Boom enter into relief society and I left in tears. These last two and a half months I could have said it's easier to not go to church, easier to not struggle each week with my sons schedule and just relax at home Sunday's. But I do it for both of us. I do it because I still see blessings daily in our lives and want to give thanks. I do it because one day Seth may thank me for giving up so much and laying the foundation for him. I hope his wife will look back one day and appreciate his passion for faith and see that she too can do it every Sunday, and heck everyday.
I am enough. I am enough to Seth. I am enough to my friends and family. And I am enough for Heavenly Father.
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