Keeping the HOPE

This week in relief society it was a lesson all about keeping the hope just when you do not think you can. Or defying the odds and still remaining hopeful. These are two big things. there are many times in my life where I have honestly felt hopeless. And there have been times where I still have remained to keep some ounce of hope alive.  If you have read other posts you can see I write a lot about my loss of Matthew and I had a more recent loss this past april. After I lost Matthew two years ago I had lost all hope. I turned away from my faith a little bit and wasn't sure what to do. This time around(I was now a member of the LDS church) I felt like ok this is a bump in the road but it was just not my time yet. I remained hopeful because I had scriptures to turn to. I had Ensign (A church magazine) articles to turn to for hope. And most of all my family and church friends. The elders knew about the loss and Elder Kelly was able to give me a beautiful blessing. This loss happened to be during the time I planned a trip out to Buffalo to see him. Heavenly Father knew I needed to see my good friend and needed his helpful words of comfort through a blessing. I am not saying for everyone church helps get throughout tough times...but for me and many others out there...its the best thing. I didn't turn my back on Heavenly Father this time around. I knew he was there right with me. I have seen many blessings come after these losses and have been so grateful.

We all have battles we are facing that no other person can truly understand what you are going through. This point really rings true with me in the sense of my studies and passion for human rights. I studied a lot about the Holocaust and have interviewed many many survivors. No two stories are ever the same.  They could have been from the same family, yet they felt things differently and experienced many differences. I am always humbled by these survivors and their sense of continued hope. It really makes me put my life into perspective.

It was great to hear so many sisters share stories of hope. One sister had a husband who was very ill a couple of years ago, and she struggled. However knowing in her heart that they would be reunited again in the future in the kingdom of Heaven made her mind have some ease.
This made me think of my two babies in heaven. I will be reunited with them and I will be the mom to Matthew that I was supposed to be. That gives me such a sense of hope that I do need to continue my everyday life. I know when I have kids in the future they will be blessed with the best guardian angels around.

The sisters in the church are so strong and are such great examples to me. I once was in a lesson about baptism and I just thought of my big day coming up in the temple. I will be having Elder Kelly step in for Matthew and he will be sealed to Andrew and myself. I left the room that day balling because the emotions were so real and it was a struggle to keep my emotions quiet. Two sisters, one of them who taught the lesson soon came to find me to ease my thoughts and make sure I was ok. They are so sweet and really think about others. I love feeling loved and cared about , especially by fellow church members. So a big thank you to those two beautiful sisters who came to check on me that day. I keep my hope strong today because of moments like that.